my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
