I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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