If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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