i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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