Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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