Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
