...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
