omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he puts the penis in happiness.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
