What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
