Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.