there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay