Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night