I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She's the barista slut.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
