I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize