how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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