You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
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I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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