Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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