My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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