Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize