Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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