Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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