Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
