The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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