There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
