one might say we're banned from that church
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
