i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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