yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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