We won't sleep together?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
