So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
