Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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