Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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