He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
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What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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