When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dicks are not precious.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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