Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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