mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you never un-have a 4some
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
