No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
God gave him joint rollers for hands
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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