You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
