You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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