its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
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I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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