he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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