Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize