I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize