i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
