i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
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Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.