Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just google imaged poop.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor