Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text