She's JV to your varsity
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.