when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
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and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
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"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.