You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
