Little spoons don't ask big questions
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not