I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?