And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
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she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
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The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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