barbara walters just said penis...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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