Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
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Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea