I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken