Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
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Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.