laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....