Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
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Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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