I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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